Changing Fate
by SilentAvenger
Summary: A former member of Luke's Jedi Order and a long time friend of the original trio races to save Han Solo from Kylo Ren, reflecting on the past, present and future, what lead her to such situation, and the redeemability of Han's son. How will her confrontation with the man formerly known as Ben Solo go? And how will it impact her and others' life? AU. Han/ Leia mentioned.


The images of Han's death flash brighter every second. My entire body hurts from the damage I have sustained in battle, but it doesn't matter now. All that matters is to get to the bridge in time. I cannot let Kylo Ren kill another person. I cannot let another vision come true. Ignoring the pain from my wounds, I use the Force to run faster. I must not fail. Not again.

I wish it had never come to this. I wish I hadn't gone on that mission twenty six years ago. I wish I was with Luke, Han and Leia all of these years. Part of me wonders if I would have been able to teach their son, Ben Solo, to control his inner darkness, prevent him from becoming the monster that he is now, and save his parents grief and meaningless attempts to redeem him. After all, Luke managed to redeem me. And maybe, knowing what the Dark Side is like, I had what i took to prevent his allegiance to Snoke. But my senses tell me that there was no hope for him to begin with, despite how much I hate to admit it. Anyway, now I am never going to find out.

I recall the days when Luke and I had just started rebuilding the Jedi Order. We visited Han and Leia once in awhile. One of these times was when I first met their son, and from the first sight something about him deeply disturbed me. Even at such young age, I sensed darkness in him. Even his behaviour was strange, not like the kids I remembered from my time as a youngling during the last days of the old Republic. His otherwise quiet exterior could change into a fit of rage any minute, and he seemed to hate his fellow living beings even back then. His parents, of course, tried to raise him, but nothing seemed to change the situation long-term. When his Force sensitivity started to manifest itself, first it was directed at inanimate objects, but as he grew older, he started hurting animals, as well as the other children he met. Han and Leia seemed to be worried about it as well, and I shared my concerns with them before going on a rescue mission after receiving a distress signal from a New Republic ship.

I don't remember how exactly I was captured, or how the operation went. My every attempt to recall what happened afterwards was unsuccessful. The first thing I remember clearly after that was a much older Luke and a team of younger Jedi releasing me from stasis in some sort of an ancient temple and bringing me to their ship. Only after that, I learned that twenty years had passed. And according to Luke, no trace was left of why or how I ended up there. Meanwhile, the galaxy has changed after all this time, and not to the best. A fraction of worlds lead by senators who admired the old Empire's ideals have joined the Imperial remnant, who were hiding in the far corners of the galaxy for years. Nobody knew about it at the time, the Senate denied that something was going on. Meanwhile, Leia's heritage has been exposed to the general public, which lead to her loss of support in the Senate. I got back to my duties as a Jedi in the new Order, teaching students, as well as investigating the sudden rise of crime in the Outer Rim planets and Leia's leads on what would soon be revealed as First Order activity. That's when I saw Ben Solo again, now as a Padawan in the Temple. On the outside, he seemed to have been peaceful. I could see he had friends among his peers now, and was unlike the quiet, but violent, child I knew. Even after all these years, I still sensed darkness in him. In fact, the Dark Side was with him more than ever. I talked to Luke about it once. He told me he sensed it too, but he still was unwilling to give up on him. He still believed that Ben Solo could be saved someday. We agreed that we would try to do anything in our power to help him. But he was already beyond saving, as I was soon to find out.

That day I went to fight a First Order attack on one of the New Republic, leading a group of forces from the Resistance, a small private army Leia formed to fight the First Order after it's discovery. My team suffered heavy losses, but we managed to force the First Order to retreat. That's when I saw it. Hundreds of deaths. The darkness I felt from Ben Solo's presence right from the moment I met him was unleashed. A massacre not unlike the one I witnessed in my childhood. As soon as possible, I returned to the Jedi Temple, but it was too late. There was nothing but ruins and corpses left. The students I knew and taught myself were dead, and Luke was gone. I tried to reach out to him through the Force, but couldn't find him anywhere. For some time, I actually thought he was dead, which only added to my grief. Leia told me later she sensed he was alive, but couldn't find him due to her lack of knowledge in the Force. And even with our efforts combined, we still couldn't find him.  
Their son becoming Kylo Ren put a severe crack in Han and Leia's relationship. Both of them blamed themselves for Ben turning to the Dark Side. Sometimes one tried to talk to the other, convince them not to put the blame on themself, but it mostly ended in a fight. I tried to talk to them, help them reconcile, but always ended up making matters worse. While the two lead very different lives and didn't always see each other, but this event made them grow even further apart. Still, but deep down inside, they still believed their son ould be saved. After all, he was still their child, even if he was darkness from the start. I couldn't stand letting the First Order hurt anyone else. Once again, I went to fight, tracking down and sabotaging First Order operations where I could, getting intel for the Resistance, but also looking for an opportunity to bring down the creature that once was the son of the two people most dear to me in the entire universe. Unfortunately, he seemed to always be very well-guarded. My attempts to get to Kylo Ren ended up a failure in the best case, and me being on the brink of death in the worst case. But no more will he spread destruction through the galaxy. I will not allow him to kill one of the people most dear to me.

I sense both Han and Kylo Ren getting closer to the bridge. I let my anger fuel me and use the Force to accelerate myself once again. Sometimes, I wonder if I ever was truly redeemed from the Dark Side. In my lifetime, I've known both Light and Dark, and never abstained from emotions, even after Luke saved me. Ever since then, I've walked the border between the sides of the Force, not settling on one. I used anger and hatred to defeat the enemies of the Republic when I deemed necessary. The only thing that stopped me from becoming a monster were my friends. They always believed in me. And Luke always seemed certain there was good in me, that I was better than I thought. Poor Luke, if he only knew where his faith in people would lead back then...  
At the end of the grey corridor, I see Kylo Ren. He knows that I am coming and turns around. So certain in his victory. I remember during his last days as Luke's student, he was just as arrogant. I can sense his plans concerning his father, but also… Some sort of a conflict? Maybe it's not too late after all. I can still bring him back. For Han and Leia.

"Master Nyros," He says with no emotion, his voice distorted by the modulator in his helmet.

"Ben." I come closer, the images of Kylo stabbing his father still go through my head. "I know it's hard to see the light in yourself, but it's not too late. Your uncle helped me when I believed I was beyond redemption. Your mother and father still love you. Even now they believe you can be saved."

"I am being being torn apart." He sounds doubtful as he reaches out for his lightsaber and points it to me, as if wanting me to take it from him "Will you help me?"

"Yes." For a split second I actually believe that after all Kylo Ren may be redeemable, only for the visions to swarm my head once again. Visions where he is igniting his lightsaber to kill yet another person. Only this time the person is me.

I sense as the feeling of conflict disappears swiftly as he presses the button to activate his lightsaber, the light from it's red blade lighting up the dim corridor. I barely manage to jump away from hot, unstable plasma and avoid a mortal injury. It all was a ruse. He was not conflicted after all. The entire show was in hopes to put me down as quickly as possible. And then, to go on killing Han, and then millions of innocents in the galaxy. No, I'm not letting him to kill anyone else. Not while I am still standing.

"I see you've gotten better at altering your presence in the Force since the last time we've met," I use the Force to reach for my lightsaber and ignite it. "That partially explains how none of your former friends saw you as a threat until the moment you started killing them.".

"Now I can do much more than that." my opponent swings his weapon as reaches out with his free hand, attempting to grab mine with the Force and use it against me, but I can hold it.

"You've always lacked discipline," I point out. Some things haven't changed after all these years. "I know what you want, but you will have to face me first."

"So be it," he says as we both race towards each other to attack.

The longer our battle goes, the more worn out I start to feel. What Luke's former apprentice lacks in skill, he makes up in raw power. While brash, predictable and crude, my opponent's strikes are fast. My wounds remind me I am not at full strength. I am trying to rapidly change lightsaber fighting styles to confuse him, but his reflexes are still fast enough to parry my attacks. I don't want to fail Han. I enter a defensive stance, hoping to wear Kylo off. Even then, the dark Jedi continues to overwhelm me with sheer strength. That's when I decide it's enough of the fair fight.

"Even with all the power of the Dark Side, you're still weak."

"I'm strong enough to kill you."

"But you're still not as strong as Darth Vader."

I attack him with all my strength. And even though I can't see Kylo's expression under his mask, I sense rage building up inside him. I continue going full offensive on him as I notice his strikes are becoming more disorganised.

"I wonder, has anyone told you what eventually became of him?"

"That was a mistake I will not make."

"Of course you won't. Because you won't live long enough to have the opportunity."

I overwhelm him with raw strength as I press my lightsaber towards him, getting his close to his neck.

"Han Solo will not forgive you for this."

"But at least he will be alive".

My lightsaber blade hits one of the crossguards, preventing me from cutting his lightsaber hilt. Kylo uses this as an opportunity, attempting to do the same to my lightsaber, but I manage to move away in time. As Snoke's apprentice raises his lightsaber above me, preparing to deal a crushing blow, I channel my rage and shoot Force lightning at him out of my hand, pushing him away and disarming him. I use the Force to quickly catch his lightsaber and come towards the defeated Knight of Ren.  
"Never learned to properly channel your anger, did you?" I say as I look at the monster that is Han and Leia's son. Kylo reaches out with the Force, attempting to stun me. "Sorry, the trick doesn't work on me."

"If you kill me, then you will become exactly what you were fighting to destroy." He attempts to taunt me, still clinging to the last seconds of his life. I raise my lightsaber above him, preparing to deal the final blow. The Jedi Code teaches to see light in everyone, to be compassionate even to your deadliest enemies. But what if the person has no light in them? For many years, both Luke and I attempted to see the light in Ben Solo, but even that didn't stop him from becoming what he is. Maybe if I had seen light in him, maybe I could have forgiven him. Even after making me experience a second Jedi Purge in my life. Even after slaughtering billions of innocents. But after I sensed him attempt to kill one of the closest people to him, I've given up. I am certain more than ever that Kylo Ren is beyond redemption. He always was.

"Then so be it." I whisper as I put my lightsaber through Kylo's chest. And the very second I do, it seems like an eternity. Every memory of Ben Solo, my times with his parents and uncle, flash before me. Somewhere far away, I hear Han scream, but the visions of past, present and future overwhelm me to the point I can barely hear him. I can sense Han's despair. I see moments in time he, Leia, and Ben were together. I see Rey, Finn and Chewie comforting him a few hours later. I see how he and Leia will grieve for their son together, finally crossing all the distance that separated them all these years. But both will have a deep hatred and grudge for a person they had considered a friend for many years. And only now, when the business is already done, I feel regret. But not the regret for killing Kylo Ren. He was a monster that had to be put down for the good of the galaxy. It is the regret for Han and Leia that I feel. They didn't deserve such a life, neither did they deserve to have a son with a dark heart. The only comforting thought I had was my hope that maybe they will be able to cope with it after some time. Maybe their emotional scars will heal with time, even if they will never be able to forgive me. But even I was unable to see that.

Back in the old Jedi Order, many Masters noticed my gift for precognition. Later in my life, this gift led me to question such things as predestination. Is the future truly set? All the Force users I've met during my time were unable to give me a certain answer. Some believed everything was already predestined, while the others believed the future to be always in motion, open to change. With my experience, I still haven't formulated an exact opinion on this matter. Were Han and Leia always meant to have their son turn out like this? Now I am almost certain of it. And was I always meant to save Han by killing Kylo Ren? Or did I just avert fate and Han was actually meant to die? That I don't know.

"You killed him." I take a deep breath and turn around to see the expression of agony on Han's face.

"Han, I'm so sor-" I blurt out, not knowing what else to say, only to be interrupted.

"What have you done?" Han mutters, sitting besides his son and taking off his mask, looking at the lifeless gaze of what once used to be his son.

"I did it to save you! He would have killed you and billions-" I'm trying to explain myself, not bothering to hide my sorrow, but I already know it's useless. Han doesn't care what I'm going to say. The worst that could have happened has already come to be.

"Go." Han's voice cracks as he cradles the body of his dead son. I can sense what he felt about Ben now. Even after all he has done, Han still loved him. To the last, he hoped Ben Solo could be redeemed. He was even ready to sacrifice himself for the sake of it. And that is something I probably will never understand. Maybe if I had children, I would have, but I don't think family is something I deserve or am capable of. The closest thing I've ever had to family were Han, Leia and Luke. And if sacrificing my ties with them is the only way of keeping them alive, then I am ready to make that sacrifice. Perhaps that's just the way it is. Just as I would rather sacrifice my relationship with my loved ones than watch them die, Han would have rather sacrificed himself than let Ben fall to the Dark Side. And I would have tried to save Kylo Ren for him. If I only knew how.

"Han, this place will soon be over-"

"Go."

There was nothing more I could do about it. I sense Rey, Finn and Chewbacca getting closer. There is nothing I can do to break the wall between me and my best friends. Maybe I am now indeed what I was fighting against, just like Kylo said. Yet, if my fall to the darkness is the price for my friend's life, I'm more than willing to pay for it. As I limp towards the exit, I sense Rey trying to calm down Han. And although I realise there was no other way to save Han, I feel guilty. In that fight, I broke everything Luke stood for. What would he say had he been here? Probably his reaction wouldn't have been so different from Han and Leia's. This is what I deserve. And still after all, if I had another choice between saving Han and sparring Kylo, I would have done the same in a heartbeat.

"I'm sorry it had to end this way," I whisper as I leave my friends, who have been like family to me for many years, behind.

 _AN: This fanfic is the first thing I wrote in years. This story has been circulating in my head for about 1,5 years, I've been comissioning it to different authors, but none of them made it quite the way I wanted it, so I thought, why not write it myself?_

 _I apologize for the terrible formatting, just it happens that both my laptops and tablet hate spaces at the beginning of the paragraph. If anyone knows any possible solutions to this, I gladly accept any sorts of help via PM, since Googling didn't help( in case you were wondering)._

 _I would also like to thank the Redditor known as chibielf for beta reading and advice, as well as the SWTOR players known as Rixty and Erilyne for their feedback. You people are the best._

 _To anyone who doesn't like what I did to Kylo: I see no point in concealing the fact that I am not a fan of him. To put it lightly. Hell, what am I hiding? I can't stand Kylo Ren. I hate everything about him( except for maybe his clothes and lightsaber, they are too good for him IMO, and they look much better on my Skyrim chara anyway XD). This story is my way of killing a hated character and saving a favourite one. Yes, I am a cruel writer who offs a characters just because she doesn't like them. If you like Kylo Ren, I am sorry, just not everyone in the fandom sees him as a sympathetic character/ tragic figure/ victim._

 _EDIT: I corrected the timeline contradictions, now with the story stating that 6 years passed between Nyros's reappearance and the events of the fanfic._


End file.
